Totally Hazelnuts
by Zipzapperdoodles
Summary: About Geysers and ice-cream in Iceland. (Totally hazelnuts) ONE SHOT - No beta - written with love only... :Please be gentle with your whip. ;)


Maura and Jane took a stroll through the park as Jane all of the sudden said, "If we ever decide to get marry I would to do it in Iceland!"

Maura frowned and took a halt to look at Jane, "Why?"

Jane looked at Maura as if Maura had her head backwards and huffed, "I lo-o-ove ice, and because I'm not fond of water except for showering and for a nice cold beer. And Iceland has it all, ice and beer. So-o-o-o, no water in sight!"

"But they have geysers there and lakes, volcano's etcetera, Jane!" Maura answered, still not sure why she even bothered to engage in such a dumb conversation with her fiancee.

"Whats that?" Jane asked, overhearing the part of lakes and volcano's after Maura mentioned the Geysers.

"Geysers?" Maura said,"Geysers are mostly located near active volcanic areas, the geyser effect is due to the proximity of magma. Generally, surface water works its way down to an average depth of around6,600 ft where it contacts hot rocks. The resultant boiling of the pressurized water results in the geyser effect of hot water and steam spraying out of the geyser's surface vent , that's called a hydrothermal explosion!" Maura took a deep breath and continued happily to share her knowledge, "Iceland has a famous Geyser called 'Geysir', which means' derived', and the famous 'Strokkur', which erupts every 8–10 minutes!"

"So Geysers are a kind of hot boilers?" Jane asked after Maura stopped ranting her facts.

"If you look at it, yes like hot boilers." Maura said, she cheered inside that she had shoved Jane some scientific facts in her brain without Jane became aware of it!

"I like to shower hot. So-o-o-o Iceland it is!" Jane said matter of factually and gave a big wink in Maura's direction.

"Sometimes I ask myself; Do I want marry a smart woman or Boston's most famous idiot..." Maura sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Well, you are the genius, I am just me, a simply and devoted Detective of the BPD, so that makes us somehow complete"

"If you put it this way...yes we are, Jane!" Maura nodded.

"We are like Yong and Pong, Maura. That's why I love you. We are opposite, that's kind of a magnetic union!"

"It's yin and yang Jane, and we are not a magnetic union, more like a explosive one!" Maura countered and was proud of her witty reply.

"How explosive?" Jane looked questioningly at her fiancee.

"Very explosive, Jane love" Maura said playfully.

"No, what do you mean with explosive, do you mean my excellent horizontal performance or?" Jane questioned.

"Why has everything you do or say has to do with sex, and why can't you even call sex by the name! _Sex sex sex_ , Jane. Sex is natural, good for your health and fun!"

"You needed almost 4 years from saying intercourse to sex, so let me have my horizontal performance and my bed-sport, my dear."

"Well yeah, at least your language improved since we are together!" Maura said and look very satisfied and pleased of her rapid and witty reply.

"Is not!"

"Is yes"

"Hà, and you took over my bad grammar and that's a fact!" Jane countered, feeling like she would lose her ace in this game of will and wits.

"At least I don't call sex horizontal performance, and know Iceland is too cold for consuming the ice-cream you crave so much...hazelnut!" Satisfied Maura looked at her fiancee who had on this point her mouth open in uppermost shock!

"They don't have hazelnut ice-cream in Iceland?" Jane almost screamed the words.

Maura ( _irritated_ ) "No! They only have cranberry and strawberry and cherry ice-cream in Iceland, because the color red looks so good in the white environment of Iceland!"

"Shit! I don't want to get married in Iceland, Maur'!" Jane whined.

'Sigh' "Lets get you some burgers and fries, that should shut you up!"

"Yippie, burgers and fries!" Jane shouted happily, "Can I have a beer too?"

"Yes Jane, you can." Maura resigned...

"Yeah! "Jane shouted happily and made a beeline towards her favorite fast-food restaurant, leaving Maura behind who could only scratch her hives now, and swallowed her misery with dignity.


End file.
